Marriage really does matter and we have to actually care about that marriage to make it work.
Over the last fifteen years or so I have really become aware that Jamie and I don't have it all together, but I know that together we have it all. We have a sign that says that in our living room. That statement really is the truth.
I have noticed this somewhat troublesome trend in young married couples, they come into the marriage thinking everything is going to be awesome, and don't realize how much work it actually is. I understand that for the most part that will come with age, but young couples need to go into their marriage with the mindset that no matter what happens this thing is til our hearts stop beating.
The throw-away mentality that this generation has really is reaching devastating proportions. When the relationship becomes difficult we throw it away and get another one, not realizing that WE are the thing that makes that relationship either good or bad. When you put two sinful people in a house together eventually they are going to be on each other's nerves. There are going to be fights and arguments there is stopping that. It's a given.
Here are a few ideas I have when it comes to making sure our marriages matter and will last the test of a lifetime.
1.Bulletproof your conversations
What you can do is this, go in the argument with a mindset that is this, 'she's mine or he's mine till we are dead.' And nothing that is said will ever change that. Go into the conversation with this mentality 'I love this person and no matter what is said I'm with them tonight come rain or shine.'
2. Be willing to say 'I love you' and kiss each other before you go to sleep.
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
I know you're going to get angry with each other...there is no stopping that one, but here is what you can do, make the commitment to always say the words 'I love you' before you go to sleep. And be willing to kiss each other before your eyes close.
This has literally transformed our marriage.
I remember one time we were arguing over something and Jamie said 'I'm exhausted I'm going to sleep' and I looked at her and said 'OK, I love you so much...and I leaned over to kiss her, and guess what...she kissed me back. Guess what, about two minutes later she rolled over and said 'I really do love you, I'm sorry...and I said I really love you too and I'm sorry.' We both woke up with a renewed spirit the next morning.
3. Flirt with each other, even when you don't feel like it.
Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse...you flirted with each other, sometimes it was gross to watch from the outside, but you two didn't really care, because you were crazy for each other. Don't lose that. Keep flirting. Play with her hair, hold hands, booty smacks, hug each other, send a flirty text in the middle of the day for no reason. The bottom line just is this do things that will make your spouse feel special.
Our marriages matter. We need to start living like it. Before you sling a sword or shoot a bullet out of your mouth at your spouse realize, that the person you're married to was created in the image of God and because of that they have self-worth treat them the way Jesus treats you. Show off love and grace the way Jesus does.
The way you forgive the unforgivable shows exactly who you believe Jesus is.
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