Reformed & Rejoicing in the Redemption of God Reclaiming Calvinism from Bitterness and Arrogance. || Chapter 1

I want to say thank you to everyone taking the time to read this.

My hope and prayer is that it both encourages you and challenges you to walk humbly and faithfully in the world we live in today. Pick- up your copy today: Reformed & Rejoicing in the Redemption of GodReclaiming Calvinism from Bitterness and Arrogance.

Chapter 1

The Call to Joy in Reformed Theology

I was sitting in a Christian event, listening intently as a preacher expounded on Scripture. His theological foundation was sound, and his exposition of the text was doctrinally accurate. I agreed with much of what he was saying.

Yet, something wasn’t sitting right with me.

It wasn’t his doctrine that troubled me—it was his tone.

What flowed from the pulpit that day was not the warmth of a shepherd lovingly guiding his flock, but a sharp, hostile arrogance. There was no joy, no grace—primarily pride. Certain phrases and statements were repeated to describe the lost, but rather than invoking compassion, they were delivered with a cold, detached indifference. It really didn’t sit well with me, and I’m not someone who usually gets upset over preaching.

I don’t remember much from that hour-and-twenty-minute sermon, but I do remember walking away with a deep burden. Reformed believers—particularly preachers—should be some of the most joy-filled, humble, and compassionate people on the planet. Yet, in this particular moment, there was none of that. Instead, the preacher came across as if he saw himself as superior, speaking down to those he was addressing. His tone lacked warmth, and rather than drawing people in, it felt condescending. It was disheartening, to say the least. If you as a reformed pastor or person are more passionate about and focus more on the doctrine of man’s depravity than his redemption, you may be more of a hindrance than a help.

The Joy of Salvation

If we truly understand the Doctrines of Grace, if we have grasped the depth of Ephesians 2:4-5, then how can we not be overwhelmed with joy?

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.”

This passage alone should cause even the most reserved, back-row Baptist to leap to their feet in praise.

If we believe what Scripture teaches, then the reality is that we were once completely lost, dead in our sins, separated from God, and utterly incapable of saving ourselves. Yet, in His mercy, God reached down, awakened us to our sin, and called us to life through Christ.

How can that not bring joy?

How can that not produce humility?

This is why I struggle to understand how some of my Reformed brothers carry themselves. Instead of humility, I often see arrogance. Instead of compassion, I hear condescension. Instead of joy, I see rigid pride.

It wasn’t always this way.

Reformed Christians (a.k.a. Calvinists) should be some of the most joy-filled people on the planet.

Why? Because the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has graciously awakened us to the reality of our sinful state and, in His mercy, has revealed that He alone is our hope of salvation. That truth should fill our hearts with unshakable joy and gratitude.

We, of all people, should live with a sense of awe and wonder—not in bitterness or cold intellectualism, but in a state of absolute joy, knowing that we have been redeemed by grace alone.

I recently posted something on social media that I believe should be an anthem for every believer:

“In a world full of Christian leaders who look like they’ve been weaned on dill pickles, be the one who radiates joy and humility.”

Let’s be the kind of Christians whose joy in Christ is contagious, whose humility reflects the Gospel, and whose lives make others want to know the God we serve.

Remember Where You Came From

Ephesians 2:1-2 reminds us of who we were before Christ saved us:

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience.”

Think about that for a moment. We were just as lost, just as blind, just as rebellious as those we now seek to correct. We weren’t born with doctrinal clarity or spiritual enlightenment—it was given to us by grace alone.

So why is it that so many who come to understand Reformed theology suddenly act as though they have always had it figured out? It has become a running joke in Reformed circles that new converts to Calvinism need to be locked in a cage for three to five years before they are allowed to interact with others.

That shouldn’t be a joke. That should be a warning.

If our theology produces arrogance instead of humility, something has gone terribly wrong.

This idea of “being in a cage” still haunts me to this day.

As a young man, I was introduced to the Doctrines of Grace. but rather than being filled with awe, wonder, and humility, what took root in my heart was arrogance, pride, and, ultimately, bitterness—leading me into some dark and wicked sins. I had little concern for how these doctrines should mold and shape me into the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. Instead, my primary focus was on how wrong and twisted everyone else’s theology was.

I attended a college that was not Reformed in its theology, and rather than engaging in thoughtful discussions, I would debate my professors aggressively, call them horrible names, and wear T-shirts with slogans designed to enrage anyone who didn’t share my theological position. I thought I was being clever and insightful, but in reality, I was just ignorant and just downright mean. I claimed to be a humble man who understood I was saved by grace alone, but my actions told a different story.

What young men—especially those newly introduced to Reformed theology—desperately need is a mentor. They need older, wiser believers to walk with them, to remind them that arrogance wins nothing but conflict and, ultimately, heartache.

If you are young and Reformed, surround yourself with older men who love the Bible, love Jesus, and—most importantly—love people. I didn’t do that. Instead, I aligned myself with other young men who beat their chests, mocked, and belittled anyone who didn’t share our theological mindset. These beautiful doctrines, which should have humbled me and driven me to my knees in prayer and repentance, were hijacked by my flesh. My pride deceived me into thinking I was untouchable, and the enemy almost destroyed me through my own arrogance.

My hope is that young men today will love Reformed theology—but with a deep humility and an understanding that the ground at the foot of the cross is level. No one is saved because of head knowledge. We are saved because of a heart transformation—one that we don’t get to take any credit for whatsoever.

The Posture of the Reformed Believer

When we come to grasp the reality that God, in His sovereign mercy, chose to awaken us to our sin and His Gospel, it should produce in us:

Gratitude – We did nothing to deserve His grace. We should live in constant thankfulness.

Humility – Knowing we were saved not by our own effort, but by His will, should eliminate all pride.

Compassion – If we truly understand the depth of our sin, we should long for others to be rescued, just as we were.

As Pastor John MacArthur states, “When you understand that God chose you before the foundation of the world, not because of anything in you, but because of His own purpose and grace, it strips away all grounds for boasting. That’s the heart of biblical Calvinism—it leaves you on your knees.”

This is the essence of Reformed theology: It should break us, not make us boastful.

How We Present the Doctrines of Grace Matters

I understand the excitement that comes with discovering the Doctrines of Grace—especially for young men. In many ways, modern American Christianity has been watered down, leaving people spiritually unchallenged and longing for something deeper. So when you encounter a theological framework that is rich, robust, and anchored in the absolute sovereignty of God, it can feel like a revelation—empowering, transformative, and exhilarating.

Grasping the beauty of God’s sovereignty, the depth of election, and the power of His irresistible grace is life-changing. But if we’re not careful, that passion can quickly turn into pride, especially when met with resistance.

When others don’t immediately embrace Reformed theology, the temptation is to grow defensive, frustrated, or even combative. But take a step back—did you fully understand these truths overnight? Most likely, the answer is no. So why would we expect others to instantly grasp what took us time to understand?

The right response is patience and grace. We must not wield theology like a weapon, but rather present it like a feast—inviting others to come, taste, and see the richness of God’s Word.

When I began teaching the Doctrines of Grace in my church, I didn’t force these truths upon people or demand immediate agreement. I simply opened the Bible and walked them through passages on election, predestination, and salvation.

Instead of hammering the truth into them, I led them with patience.

And what happened?

God did the work.

Some had questions, and I welcomed them. I didn’t respond with frustration when someone struggled to understand. I trusted that, in His perfect timing, God would open their hearts and reveal His truth—just as He had done for me.

And He did.

Common Objections to Reformed Theology

One of the most common objections I hear is: “It’s not fair!”

Why would God choose some and not others?

How can election be just?

If we’re talking about fairness, it’s not fair that any of us receive grace.

Romans 9:15-16 says: “For he says to Moses, ‘I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’ So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.”

Rather than debating fairness, our time would be better spent sharing the Gospel.

Reformed Theology Should Lead to Evangelism

Real Reformed people are some of the most evangelistic people I know—because we believe God has already done the heavy lifting. We share the Gospel with confidence because we know God’s Word will not return void (Isaiah 55:11).

Romans 10:15b says: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”

If you’re Reformed, your passion should be for souls. Instead of debating “free will,” let’s get to work sharing the Gospel.

As John Fogerty’s song says: “Oh, put me in, coach—I’m ready to play today.”

Let’s stop arguing and start discipling.

There is far more joy in seeing people saved than in debating theological nuances.

Let’s get off the bench and into the game. It’s not “fair” that you woke up this morning. But God gave you another day.

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