It's easy to take our spouses for granted. It’s easy to pick apart the flaws in the person you married. For some reason, this inclination comes naturally to us. On the other hand, praising our spouses can be difficult. It’s hard to see the good and focus on it over the bad. The bottom line is sin—it has fractured everything in our world. But that’s not an excuse we can cling to in hopes of being proven right. We must make war on our sinful nature and rise above what comes naturally to us.
So, I want to discuss three ways we can see the best in our spouses—three ways we can change our marriages.
When your spouse messes up (and they will), be ready to show the kind of grace that has been extended to you by Jesus Christ. “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” — Luke 6:36Take a moment to think about this: How often does Jesus forgive you? And how many times has He stepped into our lives and forgiven us for the same thing—more than once, more than twice? Because Christ is willing to forgive us, we need to be willing to forgive one another, even when we mess up.
When you have the urge to use your words to tear down, choose instead to speak life into your spouse's life. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” — Proverbs 18:21Words are incredibly powerful. The right words can lift us to unimaginable heights, while the wrong words can drag us into the depths of sorrow and anxiety. When you feel the urge to retaliate or speak harshly, count to twenty before saying anything. It might just change the entire situation.
Look for ways to outdo one another in showing honor and love. “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” — Romans 12:10Every day, find ways to outdo your spouse—not in ways that hurt or harm, but in ways that build them up. Look for opportunities to show them honor. Discover what makes them come alive and celebrate that. We all know what our spouses love, so do those things for them with no strings attached.
I believe that if we put these three simple ideas into practice in our marriages, we’d see far fewer divorces and far more extraordinary people walking the planet. These ideas just might transform the world!
I think our world would look better if we did this.
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